Why is My Child Different at Home and School? Understanding Generalisation in ABA

If you’ve ever felt confused because your child follows instructions perfectly at school but refuses to do the same thing at home, or vice versa, you’re not alone. One of the most common questions parents ask when their child is engaging in Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) support is why they behave so differently in other environments. The answer often comes down to a concept in ABA called generalisation.

What Is Generalisation?

In simple terms, generalisation means being able to use a skill or behaviour in different places, with different people, and under different conditions. For example - If your child learns to wait their turn during a board game with a therapist, generalisation would mean they’re also able to wait their turn in line at the playground, during circle time at preschool, or when waiting to talk during a group activity.

Without generalisation, skills can become “stuck” in the specific setting or routine where they were taught. That’s why a child might follow directions from their teacher but not from their parent, or use a communication device at school but not touch it at home.

Why Generalisation Is Hard for Some Kids

Some children need explicit support to transfer skills across environments. They may not automatically connect the dots that “touching the picture card to ask for help” at school should also work at home - or that brushing teeth at grandma’s house is the same as brushing teeth at their own.

This doesn’t mean your child is being defiant or “testing boundaries”. It just means that they might need more practice seeing how the same rule or skill applies across different settings.

How ABA Helps Promote Generalisation

A quality ABA program doesn't just teach a skill once in one place - it builds in strategies to help the child use the skill everywhere it’s needed. Here are a few ways ABA therapists promote generalisation:

• Teaching Across People: Having the child practice with parents, siblings, teachers, and therapists.

• Varying the Environment: Practicing the skill in different rooms, during different times of day, or in natural settings like the park or supermarket.

• Using Natural Reinforcers: Encouraging the skill in real-world situations (e.g., asking for help and actually getting help).

• Fading Prompts: Gradually reducing adult support so the child learns to use the skill independently.

What You Can Do at Home

If your child is learning a new skill in therapy or school, talk to the team about how you can reinforce it at home. Ask for visuals, practice routines, or ways to incorporate the skill into daily life. Even small adjustments like using the same language or visuals at home that are used in therapy can make a big difference.

You can also gently prompt your child in different settings, provide praise when they use the skill naturally, and allow lots of opportunities to practice in a low-pressure way.

Final Thoughts

Seeing your child succeed in one place and struggle in another can be frustrating, but it’s not a sign that something is going wrong. It’s a normal part of learning, and with the right strategies, those skills can start showing up everywhere. ABA doesn’t just teach behaviours - it teaches kids how to use them across all the meaningful parts of their lives.